Today I was dumped via a facebook status update.
I suppose I should feel many things. Happy, because facebook breakups sound like some problem a young and cool person has. At 30 (nearly 31) it is rare I get to feel young anymore, so this new fangled way to be rejected should be exciting. Alas, it is not.
I suppose I should also feel sad. Or upset. Or one of those emoticons expressed via a ( symbol. And yet, I am not. T wasn't that interesting to begin with. I actually cried the first time we... how would you say it... knocked boots? It was that bad. He was a teddy bear. Big and sweet but not at all seductive. You bring a teddy bear to bed but it doesn't make you cum. Unless you're a plushie.
No, I was going to dump him eventually. Once I felt as if I'd gotten all I could out of him. That sounds terrible. I am sort of terrible though. It wasn't as if he wasn't getting anything from me. He told me he loved me (I said it back, although it was more of a echo than a lie). And I was hoping that I could mold him. He was woefully inept in relationships. I wanted to give him some gentle guidance. I taught him where the g-spot was- that alone will get him far in romantic life.
And, yes, a lot of it was selfish on my part. I didn't want to be alone anymore. Since the heart ripping ending of my 7 year relationship with W it's been hard for me to date. I was finally ready to put myself on the line again. And if it happened to be with someone like T, who wasn't really that great, well all the better.
When you fall off the horse you have to get back on again. But it's better to mount a pony than a stallion for that next ride.
So, I am not crushed by the fact that T dumped me on facebook.
No, I'm angry that he was able to dump me at all. I'm the one who should have dumped him. Everyone knows that the winner of the relationship is the one is it the dumper. And he isn't good enough to win! Jesus. It's like if The Bad News Bears take home the championship. You might be happy for the underdog but it just isn't realistic.
I'm also stunned by the fact that I am once again alone. I look around at the world and see couples. Terrible people with other terrible people. Even Hitler had somebody. Hitler! Like, the worst person in the world was able to attract someone and I can't.
Clearly, I'm a terrible person. I must be. More terrible than Hitler, if relationships are a metric of goodness.
And so I decided I might as well start this blog. I'll post my random thoughts about things. Whatever is on my mind. Then, maybe, we can all look back at it and pinpoint what it is about me that makes me to terrible and unlovable that I apparently deserve to be dumped via a facebook status update.
